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My blog has moved! Please find me at soundmattersmusictherapy.com! Thank you for reading!

Time before the game

On weekends in the care center where I work, I typically do not provide music therapy sessions. Usually, I assist with other events or sessions or... well, I'll just admit that sometimes, on weekends, I call BINGO. 
(Actually, I don't hate it. I use my performance-enhanced enunciation and public-speaking-volume, and much of the time I get compliments from the residents. So there, it's a morale-booster.)
Every so often, I get the chance to spend time catching up with the residents while we wait for the game to start. Today I had that chance, and I am so grateful to be reminded how much I love these people. One of the residents' roommates just died, and I was able to listen to her relate how sad she was. I can't imagine how bizarre it must be to become friends with people, live with people, whom you realize may not survive the month. 
Some people are really impressive. I am sorry for their loss.

In sickness

I have been really ill this week, and didn't go to work for one and a half days while also canceling my private clients this week as I tried to figure out what was going on. I have a better idea, but even though I worked through a whole day today, I still felt/feel somewhat miserable. And this distraction I feel leads me to feel something else: guilty for not providing my residents my full attention. (What's funny is that my guilt may be aggravating my "sickness.") I am sure no one likes being sick, but being sick while working as I do turns out to be really difficult for me. I can just hope that soon enough I will be able to give all that I want.

And we're (hopefully) back

Finally, I am finding some inspiration again.
Tonight was the first night of my private clients' Fall session, and I saw two of them. I realize that the less time I spend doing something, the more I absolutely panic surrounding planning for it-- because I am still rather new to my private practice and the clients, and because we'd had a break at the end of summer, I had a lot of anxiety going into this evening. But, as has been the case with my care center work, I imagine I will find comfort somewhere down the line.
I actually used technology in the studio tonight. :) My fiancé has given me a set of iPhone/iPod/iThings speakers (probably not the most correct name for it), and-- guess what-- I used it. Now, I need to find some metal to add to my library as well as some Justin Bieber. Two very different clients...

Problematic

There is a resident at the care center where I work whom I respect and admire a great deal. I am reasonably sure this resident has no idea of this, and so isn't doing anything intentionally (I've never thought that about any of my clients). I am quite intimidated by this resident, though. I don't know her well, but I am distracted by her presence in the groups I facilitate on her unit. So much so that I notice sometimes I am tempted to change the flow of the session to include or highlight experiences I know she likes. Which is not wise of me, and pretty negligent. But, at least I notice it before I actually do it. I am happy that today I was successful in fulfilling a session plan that provided experiences most of the other residents could find useful in some way, even though many of the experiences I know that particular resident didn't enjoy. I am aware of this hang-up of mine, but I'm sure it's not too uncommon. I just need to learn to re-frame my perspective, I think. 

A break

Well hello.
This summer has been nuts. Clearly, I've not been writing much. At all, anywhere. 
Honestly, I've had trouble finding inspiration. As one of my very favorite music therapy instructors seemed to like to say, I've been incubating. Meaning, I've been internalizing most of my ideas lately, waiting for a reason or something to let them out.
My private clients are on break between sessions. I lost one client, but have kept the rest. I am still acclimating to private practice. 
I am loving my work at the care center. I love having opportunity to see the residents in most factions of their daily life. People are fascinating. One very dear resident died late last week, and that brought me down some. I am happy to have known her. 
Happy Labor Day to you. 

Acquisition of tools

I am a private contractor who is starting from scratch. Do you know what I'd like? I'd like to have a list of must-have instruments and materials for those music therapists working with children. (And I'd also like to have the budget to acquire those things right now.) I am trying to accumulate a cache of tools as I am able, and I also find many, many ideas from other bloggers, but I still feel under-armed, if you will. I am trying to realize that this kind of business-building process will take its time. 

Advertising

I have just submitted text for a brochure that will likely be sent to publish by the owner of the studio where I'm providing services. She said she'd like to have a tri-fold pamphlet advertising music therapy there, AKA me. I have never done such a thing before, and am hoping what I included was relevant and helpful. 


Ideally, in the next four to six months, I will begin speaking to communities who could use music therapy services.

Blind ideals

Unfortunately, I have had a decent amount of inability to focus on any one thing lately. I feel like I've been fighting myself to forge through the days. 


However, though today I had a day off from the nursing home, I did see two of my most challenging clients in my private practice work. One of the clients is very lively, very young, and has a diagnosis with which I have had very limited experience. Both clients are still new to me, and I have had my "usual" (if ever there is such a thing when I am still in the beginning stages of my practice) three-session assessment process with only one of these two. I spent most of the day considering different approaches to treatment and different experiences to use, only to truly stress myself in the end. I am happy to report that, even though I tended to, let's say, agitate my day with second- and third-guessing myself, I found that, once again, what was most important in both of my sessions was that I listen to my clients and assess their energies, and to keep the goals and objectives in my head. I've been finding that I am pretty decent with improvisation, which is important in this work as the planning is important, but it's such a blind ideal-- only when I am in my clients' presence am I really able to plan the session.

Perfection

I love how my need for believed perfection paralyzes me from remembering things I've learned well in the past. Tonight I had my first true assessment session with a child with developmental disability, and going into it, I was horrified that I had no idea how to assess this client, nor what experiences to use with the client. Then, my client's mother mentioned something that triggered my thinking of targeting impulse control, and with that, I remembered a flood of experiences I'd used before. Now, I feel much more at ease, and look forward to creating a treatment plan for this client. 


All I needed to do was listen. 

Putting on a show

Hmmm... I have reason to believe my guitar could be damaged soon. There is no doubt I need a better guitar, but I wasn't planning or budgeting for that in the next week. I do need more instruments. Hmmm...


Today I facilitated the very first performance of any kind, ever, in my life. Family members and friends were there, there was a reception following, and I even took time during the performance to educate the audience members on tone chimes. The whole day was pretty stressful, but everyone seemed very pleased and thankful. I wonder how to better facilitate the next performance.

She speaks in numbers

Every Thursday, I facilitate small group sessions with residents who are in the TCU. I have had a number of good sessions there, but today I had a favorite. On that unit lives a woman who speaks in numbers, but she does it so well and with such effective inflection that I can usually understand what she means (not, of course, exactly what words she is intending to use). Today she sang with me, whole songs, lyrics and words aplenty. I love that.

I also had opportunity to co-facilitate a session today, on the palliative care unit. I found that to be really beneficial. I was targeting an improvement in gross motor function, and there are only so many hands I have. With two of us, much more was accomplished. I also love that.

New book

As found on Twitter, AMTAInc. is selling a newly-released book, Music Therapy and Geriatric Populations.


Oh, if only I had the energy and desire to read work-related books when I'm not working. Maybe in time I will have that energy reserve that I think I'll need for that. Anyone buy the book? 

Outfit

A favorite realization: When I see a resident wearing a sweater that I know I own. And the sweater is brown. Coupled with some nice Velcro shoes, and I'm set.

Nickel Creek gave me a present

Recently, I have moved, and my mom has begun allowing me to repossess a number of my old belongings that she no longer wishes to store at their house (politely insisting I take back my crap). Last night, Thomas and I went through one of the giant plastic bins The Mother had had. In it, I found an AHSSA (American High School Speech Association) travel mug (I think I got it at one of the All-state competitions [notice I said "one of"]), a weird collection of Stanley Kubric DVDs that I think were pawned off on me by a friend in college, some pictures of babies in my family (back when they were babies), a couple of opera scores, and a lone Nickel Creek CD. Of course I love the pictures of the babies. But I remember that CD with very specific clarity. I especially like "Tomorrow is a Long Time" (though with that clarity I do not recall why I like it so much). I love how music can do that. This, I know, is not a discovery, because part of the reason any music therapist practices music therapy is for the realization of that phenomenon. 


I love that I found that CD. I feel like I was given a present. By myself. Because I forgot where I'd put it. Since I'm unorganized and lazy and moved so many times that I soon  entirely abandoned any effective means of tracking where and what I'd packed.


So it was sort of like opening a present.

From place to place

Not only do I work at a care center, but I also work at its adjacent apartments, for those more independently-living seniors. Many of the residents of the apartments are married to residents of the care center, and I am so fortunate that I am able to spend time with both members of the couple in separate environments. I don't know any other person on either staff who is afforded such an opportunity. I am able to put faces with names that come from memories related to me from someone in the care center, while also getting to hear from the other party (sometimes) similar stories. I love it. One of my favorite parts about my job is how continuously fascinating peoples' stories are.

Boundaries

I don't happen to be one of those musicians who loves to play and/or sing at any moment of any day. There is a time and place for my music, and, apparently unfortunately, that place is at work. 


So when my boss called me the morning of my day off to ask that I provide the entertainment for our department's barbecue that same evening, I explained to him my feelings about the music I provide. To this, he responded, "Well, maybe you could just play a few songs, no pressure." I e-mailed him, thanking him for asking because I am happy that he'd think I could entertain (that word, that word) everyone, but (I think) politely and professionally said no. The other music therapist at my facility had reminded me of maintaining boundaries, and had I not declined and not provided music for everyone that night, I would have been distracted and distant from everyone instead of feeling closer to them as co-workers in a social context. 


A few days have passed, and even today I was approached by a co-worker who applauded me for refraining from working at a non-work event. 


I applaud myself, too. 

Target

I am starting most of my work from scratch. I am new to music therapy, I am still relatively new to the cities (so I don't know a large number of music therapists here), and I am really new to working with kids and people with developmental disabilities. And, I have never worked as a music therapist who is an independent contractor. 


So I thought it was fortunate and opportune that when Thomas and I walked into Target yesterday, the whole front portion of the $1.00 bins were dedicated to children's items (like dry-erase boards, beginner's math workbooks, etc.). I can do $1.00 for most of that. 

Private practice (not the TV show)

Today, I officially began practicing as an independent contractor. I had only one client tonight, and will have three on Thursday. I am excited for what could lie ahead. 


I will be using much more piano with these clients than guitar, which is absolutely out of my comfort zone. But everything about this private practice is out of my comfort zone, so why not add a main accompaniment tool? I am starting from scratch with these clients; I have very few instruments to use, and not a whole lot of experience with this population. But, I have to start somewhere. 


'Twould be nice to have Nordoff-Robins training, and another music therapist for co-facilitation. Not in the cards.


Tired and ready for another day at the nursing home...

Time and presence

I love my work. I'm bored with the songs I use, but I still love my work. 


One of the hardest, but most special, parts of today was when a resident pulled me aside and asked that I explain to her what is happening. She had just been hospitalized, and had before lived on a high-functioning floor, when now she lives in palliative care. I did my best to describe to her what changes she is experiencing. She was thankful for the explanation. 


I get so mad at myself about thinking I don't know enough, but sometimes being able to spend time with the people I see seems to be exactly what they need. 


Last week, one of my co-workers suggested she could run a residents' play. This immediately made me think of the movie, "Young@Heart." Watch this movie, if you're a person. I love it.